DISPELLING THE ADOPTION MYTHS



As you may or may not know, China has changed some of the rules regarding adoption. I just listened to a National Public Radio show about the Chinese adoption process. It was a very good radio show. My only argument is actually not with the show itself. On the radio website they highlight Chinese adoption as a popular means of creating a family for New York's infertile couples. Don't get me wrong...many couples with infertility issues do adopt, which is wonderful. However, not all adoptive couples are infertile. Mike and I are fully able to have biological children, but have decided on Chinese adoption as a means of growing our family...For us, it IS NOT a second choice....quite the opposite. We look at Emily and see that she is a well-adjusted, happy almost-3-year-old with a family who loves her. We feel that all children deserve the same chance. We want another child, and there is a child out there who needs a family and who is meant to be ours. This is a perfect fit for us....and seems as natural as giving birth. We've wanted to adopt since before we were married. And I know that a lot of people feel the same way. A large percentage of the couples who adopt from China also have biological children.

Secondly, it's fairly common for the general public to use phrases such as "They are adopting, instead of having their OWN kids"...or "Do you also have children of your OWN?" or "What happened to her REAL mom and dad?", "Her REAL mom couldn't take care of her, so she was adopted.", etc., etc.... These comments are not made with malicious intent at all, but I know that I will be this child's REAL mom and she will be my OWN child. :) :) She will know that Mike and I love her with all our hearts, in the same way that we love Emily. A REAL mom or dad is someone who loves and raises a child, whether added to the family by birth or through adoption. I do not love Emily BECAUSE I was pregnant with her. I love her because over the past 3 years we have developed and nurtured our mother/daughter bond. We have shared in her first accomplishments, her first laughs, her first words....and I have been there to wipe tears and cover boo-boos with Band Aids. This is what being a parent is all about- not biology. :)

Sorry for my rant. :) But this is what having a blog is all about...right? :)