Many people have asked me where little Abigail Fu Jin is currently residing in China. She is in Xinfeng County in southern Jiangxi Province. I am posting a map of China (below). If you click on the picture it will come up larger. The outlined Province is Jiangxi and Abigail is living near the southern tip of this province, so she is really pretty far south. Supposedly, the food there is some of the spiciest in all of China, as they like to use chili peppers in their cuisine. Mike, as you all can probably imagine, is quite excited about this fact, as he has a steel-lined stomach when it comes to spicy foods. :)



Here is a map of just Jiangxi province, so you can see just how far south Abigail's orphanage is in Xinfeng.

We got a video of Abigail!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :) :) Here are the latest photos (taken from the video). :)

WHAT A BLESSED THANKSGIVING, INDEED!

As you know, our dossier was logged in at the CCAA in China in February of 2007. We were told to expect another 3 year wait, due to improved economic conditions in China and a new domestic adoption program within the country. So we figured we'd be spending another few Christmases without our Chinese daughter.

On the Tuesday before Thanksgiving (11/20/07), Mike happened to have insomnia and checked his email late at night, only to discover a surprise. Our agency had sent us an email asking if we were interested in looking at any of the "waiting child" files that they received from the CCAA. The "waiting children" are children who China considers to have "special needs". These "special needs" are much different from what we in this country would consider a special need. In China, you are classified as a special needs/ waiting child if you are slightly older (over 2 years), have a birthmark, scar, correctable congenital dislocated hip (like I was born with as an infant) or other minor correctable conditions such as ptosis, clubfoot, etc. As sad as it is, these children, who are healthy and lovable children, are considered less adoptable in China, so they are placed on this waiting child list.

Anyway, there was one little girl named Fu Jin who caught our eye. She is 15 months old. She has been at the orphanage since she was 1 day old. The caregivers at the orphanage were concerned about her, because at 9 months, despite meeting her milestones, her legs seemed a little weak- she would walk "slowly" in her walker, compared to the other kids. The doctors did all kinds of CT scans and assorted tests, decided that she must have had some kind of trauma during her birth and they sent her for therapy. She went to a rehabilitation facility for therapy, and upon her release, came back to the orphanage much improved. At 15 months she is now standing steadily, is much stronger and is talking (mostly about food...she knows the word for "meal", for instance...Ha! She'll fit right in here!).

We were in love from the minute we saw her, and knew that there was no way we could say "No". But the agency, being the reputable agency that they are, told us that they would put the file on hold for us until we consulted with doctors/ specialists, etc and made an informed decision. Again, there was no way we were saying "no". But, we did what they wanted and spoke with the specialists and on Wednesday, 11/28/07, we officially told our agency that we wanted Fu Jin to be our daughter. On Thursday we wrote our formal Letter of Intent to send to China (our letter petitioning to adopt her and outlining how we will address her needs once she comes home), on Friday we made final changes to the letter, and on Saturday the LOI was in the mail on the way to our agency. From what we've been told, it will probably be about 4 months until we travel to get her (so April of 2008). On Saturday, we received her original file from China (before that, all we had was copies). Our agency even sent us mailing labels so we can start sending her care packages soon.

THIS IS FINALLY HAPPENING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We are over the moon with excitement!!!!!!!!!!!!! Abigail Fujin Dlugozima, we're coming for you soon. :) :)

Here is a quick summary on our journey thus far:

Mike and I have been married since 1999, and always knew that we wanted to adopt. In 2002, we spotted an advertisement at church asking married couples to consider adopting from China. I called to inquire, but was told that we were too young, as both parents must be over 30 to enter the program. In 2004, we were blessed with the birth of our daughter Emily. When Emily was a year old, in 2005, we decided that we wanted to add child #2 to our family, and that now was the time to pursue our adoption dream. We were still too young to adopt from China, so applied to a Russia adoption program. After almost a year, after our Russia paperchase was complete, the program became very unstable and we decided it just wasn't for us. By now, I was almost 30 and almost old enough to apply for an adoption from China. Chinese adoptions have a history of being one of the most stable programs for adoptions, and just really felt right to us. So, thus begins our China adoption story.

In the summer of 2006, we began our China paperchase (homestudy, immigration paperwork, gathering together documents for our dossier to go to China, etc.) By February 2007 we were "logged in" to the program in China. And so began the wait. Initially, we were told 10 months, then 16, and then (due to an improved economy and new domestic adoption program in China), we were told to expect 3+ years. This was good news for the children of China, but a litte sad for us. As much as Mike and I are eager to expand our family, Emily is just as anxious to have her sister home. We just didn't want her to have to wait until she was 6 years old to finally have the sibling she always wanted.

And then everything changed. I found out I was pregnant in the beginning of July 2007. PERFECT. We figured that now we would have our daughter in China and this new baby, and we were finally getting the big "insta-family" of our dreams. Unfortunately, this excitement did not last, as our hopes were once again dashed. The pregnancy was not meant to be. After 11 weeks of pregnancy, and after seeing our baby's heartbeat (just when I thought all was safe), I lost the baby and had to have a D and C on August 23, 2007. Our baby angel Sarah was with us for such a short time, but she will never be forgotten.

I can't even begin to describe the heartache we felt. As bad as this wait had become (waiting for our adoption from China to come through), it now became a million times harder. After suffering such a devastating loss, there was no way that we could possibly survive 3 more years of heartache. And then God answered our prayers......

I don’t even know where to begin with this posting. I am just feeling really sad (down in the dumps, so to speak) this week. There have been so many recent delays within the China adoption program that it seems like we’ll never get there. At the start of our journey, everyone said our wait would be about a year, then 14 months, then 16 months, then 18 months, now 2-3 years (maybe more). China is only done matching children to families who had their documents logged in up until November 1, 2005. Yes, that’s right…2005. Our dossier was only logged in February 2007. Emily might very well be 6 by the time she becomes a big sister. I find myself crying for Mike and I, and also crying for her. It’s just very frustrating and disheartening. We started the adoption process in December 2005 (with Russia)and switched from the Russia program (after 7 months) to China, because Russia became too complicated and unstable….and China seemed like a smooth, predictable program. It seems like as soon as we switched countries, all of the delays in China started. Why does this black cloud seem to follow us wherever we go? Our documents have already been redone by us 2-3 times, and will most likely be done 4-5 times by the time this process is over.

Don’t get me wrong. I don’t like to complain. I have a great husband and daughter and am grateful for my family beyond words. I just really want this adoption to work out. “Why don’t you just get pregnant?”, you ask. Well, because we know our daughter is in China. We are adopting by choice (aka it is not a second choice for us)…we know that this is what we want and what we are meant to do. I won’t lie, though. It does make it more frustrating at times to know that, if we chose to, I could give birth to 1, 2 or even 3 kids in the same amount of time as this adoption will likely take.

So…I guess what I’m asking for is that all of you who read this just keep us (and our sanity) in your prayers. It’s going to be a long road.

P.S. I added a link to the China Center of Adoption Affairs (CCAA) website, so you can watch with us (or cry, as the case may be), when CCAA posts their progress (with processing families' paperwork/ matching children with families) on the website.

I know, I know…it’s been so long…I’m a horrible blogger! :) But there are reasons why I’ve been out of touch. Things have been crazy around here, to say the least. In February, we went on a family trip to Disney World. Emily had a blast! Actually, we all did! Emily got to meet all of her favorite characters, including her favorite princess of all-time (Cinderella). All three of us had much-needed, quality, uninterrupted family time together…this was great…so great that it was really hard to come back to the real world. February/ March is the craziest time of my working year. I work in the school district (as an occupational therapist). I have to do standardized testing and write a huge annual review report on each of my kids one time per year. Unfortunately, all 30 something of my kids had these due between February 27th and next week, so things have been busy. So, pretty much the real world smacked me over the head with a hammer when we came home from vacation. But on a positive note...from April to June it will be smooth sailing, as all of the paperwork will be done. :) :) YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
On the homefront, we are in the process of finishing our basement....to turn it into a playroom for Emily and daughter #2 (to be named…for now, we will call her “Mei Mei”, meaning “little sister” in Chinese). Mike, my dad and my brother-in-law, Dru worked for the past several days on finishing the basement and on adding a cupola to our roof, above the garage. My dad built the cupola and it came out beautifully. I know he put in a lot of time on this, and we are so grateful for this. Emily is doing great. :) She's growing up really fast. She really enjoyed Easter, and of course, all of the candy too...yikes! :) She also can't wait for her playroom to be done...she keeps pitching us her decorating ideas. :)
The adoption process is moving along at a snail's pace...we probably will be traveling to China sometime next summer as it is currently about a 16-18 month's wait. Of course, this means we may be traveling there right in the middle of the 2008 Olympics in Beijing!

WE ARE LID!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! On Thursday we received word from our agency that our paperwork was logged-in by the China Center for Adoption Affairs (CCAA) on 2/9/07. So we are 1 week into our official wait, and China actually knows that we exist now! Yay!!! All that’s left to do is sit and wait until they match us with our baby. :) If the wait time sticks to around 15 or 16 months, we might even be in Beijing during the 2008 Beijing Olympics!

Last night was a momentous occasion. We went to our first FCC-LI (Families With Children From China- Long Island Chapter) Waiting Families meeting. It was great. First of all, this chapter serves all of Long Island and get this…..they hold their meetings at OUR church right here in Sayville! How convenient is that?!?! We were so excited when we first found that out. Anyway, it was a lot of fun. I was really nervous at first, meeting all of these new people….especially when, after we got there, they asked everybody to stand up with a microphone and introduce ourselves. But we survived…and guess what- it was really nice. We got to hear stories from a few couples who just returned from China with their new babies. They were all so beautiful. We also met a lot of couples who are going through the process for the first time, like us. We also spent some time talking with a woman and her husband, who just received pictures of their daughter in China. When the woman (Carmen) got up to speak at the microphone, she started to cry, because she and her husband were so happy about receiving their referral. I don’t think there was a dry eye in the place when she was speaking. She showed everyone the baby’s pictures. Of course, the baby was absolutely gorgeous and perfect with these cute little chubby cheeks and big brown eyes. Mike and I also spent a good amount of time speaking with a woman who adopted two girls, one from Viet Nam and one from China. Emily got to meet a few new friends too. This one girl, Jillian, who is 3 and was adopted from China as an infant, invited Emily over to the table to color with her and her friends. It was really sweet. Now we really can’t wait to go to the FCC-LI Chinese New Year Party and see everyone again!

And so we wait. Not much news to report. Actually, there’s no news to report on the adoption homefront. It looks like we’ll be waiting for quite a while (1 ½ years or so), as this is how long it is currently taking China to match babies with prospective parents. The next step is for us to receive our LID, or Log-In Date. This usually takes about a month from DTC, so we should be logged in within the next week or so. In the meantime, we’ve been keeping ourselves busy- like that’s ever a problem with a 3 year old in the house :).Work’s been crazy lately (especially mine), so we’ve decided to take a much-needed break, and will be going on a Disney World vacation in February. Emily is so excited. She can’t wait to meet Cinderella. And Mike and I are excited to have some quality family time, just the three of us.

WE ARE PAPER PREGNANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am so excited to announce that we are DTC today (meaning that our dossier, or all of our documents, were sent to China today)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am so excited that all of the paperwork is done and there is really nothing left to do but wait for the call that we’ve been matched with our baby. Unfortunately, this probably won’t be for another 15 months, but we are just so excited to finally have our file sent to China! Yay!!!!!!!!!

So on Thursday (the 11th), our baby girl turned 3 years old!!! It’s so hard to believe. It seems like just a day ago when Emily was 2….and 3 days ago when she first came into this world. And yet, so much has happened in the span of 3 years, so many major milestones and first moments (for all of us). So on Thursday, in between fighting back tears about the fact that our baby girl is no longer a baby, and finding ourselves in awe of the fact that she has almost instantaneously transformed from toddler into a beautiful little girl, we celebrated by going out to Chuck E. Cheese. Emily had a great time playing all of the games and riding on the rides. She even met Mr. Cheese himself! Earlier in the day, Emily also had a birthday celebration with her friends at preschool, complete with chocolate chip cupcakes and “My Little Pony” party hats, plates and napkins. Her teacher, Miss Dani was so nice that she even made Emily her very own purple birthday crown, knowing that purple is her favorite color! I’ve included some pictures of the days’ events (below).

DISPELLING THE ADOPTION MYTHS



As you may or may not know, China has changed some of the rules regarding adoption. I just listened to a National Public Radio show about the Chinese adoption process. It was a very good radio show. My only argument is actually not with the show itself. On the radio website they highlight Chinese adoption as a popular means of creating a family for New York's infertile couples. Don't get me wrong...many couples with infertility issues do adopt, which is wonderful. However, not all adoptive couples are infertile. Mike and I are fully able to have biological children, but have decided on Chinese adoption as a means of growing our family...For us, it IS NOT a second choice....quite the opposite. We look at Emily and see that she is a well-adjusted, happy almost-3-year-old with a family who loves her. We feel that all children deserve the same chance. We want another child, and there is a child out there who needs a family and who is meant to be ours. This is a perfect fit for us....and seems as natural as giving birth. We've wanted to adopt since before we were married. And I know that a lot of people feel the same way. A large percentage of the couples who adopt from China also have biological children.

Secondly, it's fairly common for the general public to use phrases such as "They are adopting, instead of having their OWN kids"...or "Do you also have children of your OWN?" or "What happened to her REAL mom and dad?", "Her REAL mom couldn't take care of her, so she was adopted.", etc., etc.... These comments are not made with malicious intent at all, but I know that I will be this child's REAL mom and she will be my OWN child. :) :) She will know that Mike and I love her with all our hearts, in the same way that we love Emily. A REAL mom or dad is someone who loves and raises a child, whether added to the family by birth or through adoption. I do not love Emily BECAUSE I was pregnant with her. I love her because over the past 3 years we have developed and nurtured our mother/daughter bond. We have shared in her first accomplishments, her first laughs, her first words....and I have been there to wipe tears and cover boo-boos with Band Aids. This is what being a parent is all about- not biology. :)

Sorry for my rant. :) But this is what having a blog is all about...right? :)